Listening and Loquats

I take for granted my ability to just straighten things up or do things around the house.  My ability to have a “to do list” that if I avoid procrastinating I can get everything done in a timely manner.  It isn’t until I go home do I realize how much I take this for granted.  As a woman your natural instinct is to make things presentable and as a Mom even more so.  I think this is why Mom gets even more frustrated over the “chores” around the house that she can’t do.  The past week she was upset because her loquat plants were overgrown and needed to be cut back.  She had no way of getting to them because if she got out there with her walker she couldn’t balance to cut them. 

So yesterday Sister K went home just for the night.  She had to pick up some things and was there less than 24 hours.  But Sister K didn’t just go home and sit around and relax.  We both have realized there are certain items Mom mentions that she really needs help getting done.  Certain items that are just going to make her feel better knowing they are accomplished.  We also know that if we don’t step up to do these things it will all rest on Dad’s shoulders in addition to the other things he does. 

So Sister K stepped up.  She ran some errands to a craft store to get some supplies Mom needed, she painted Mom’s toe nails (this is their thing, everytime Sister K comes home…and it’s sweet) and she cut back the loquats in the back yard.  Just knowing how much these specific items mean to Mom I know she is already feeling better about life today.  Sister K didn’t leave empty handed either, Mom sent her home with some tuna salad she got up early to prepare.  A way Mom can still be Mom, sending us home with food after our visits. 

We are learning that we need to help around the house in ways we might have overlooked before or in ways we might not have needed to before because Mom did those things herself.  We also need to listen to what Mom needs.  We need to listen because we can’t do everything but we can do a few things that will lift up her spirits and make her feel accomplished.  Feel accomplished in the same way I feel when I have crossed off the items off my “to do list.”

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