It’s moving day. For Sister K, not for me. I hate moving. It is one of the things I hate more than anything in the world. I think I dislike it even more because it seems I have to do it quite frequently- every 2 years. Almost like clockwork.
Because it is moving day, Mom and Dad are in town. They have hired movers but it is helpful to have Dad around to deal with them. Movers don’t exactly respect young 20 year old girls the way they respect a grown man. Our family went to dinner last night and it wasn’t overly relaxing. Sister K was stressed and on edge, therefore I felt stressed and on edge which did not help things when we live in a situation with Mom that is typically at some low stress level. Any additional makes things boil over. And they did boil over between Sister K and Me. Just a friendly sisterly love shouting match when we got back to her apartment.
I have been thinking about it a lot though. Sister K and Me. Our relationship in this family. I am realizing I am depending on it more than I realize. I depend on it to bring me a sense of positive energy when I am with my family. I depend on us to be in sync with one another. I not only depend on it, I think I need it. So consequently when one of us is off, it makes handling the dynamic of Mom’s MS more difficult. We aren’t acting as a unit. We are fighting each other adding more stress to an already stressful situation.
The problem though is we are sisters. We love each other intensely and when we fight it is intensely. It isn’t often but it does happen. It is a given. I can’t expect to go through life without it ever happening. But I need to find a way to manage it so it doesn’t impact what we are going through with Mom at the same time. Last night I felt more short fused with Mom. More short fused with getting her in her wheelchair, getting her into the car, snapping at Dad, and I think it was because of the fight I was having with Sister K. That’s a problem. It’s a problem because in many ways I can’t be just a kid who is in a fight with their sister and wants to be moody. With Mom I have to be a full on adult at all times offering assistance. I can’t make things worse but need to make them better. I need to be part of the solution and not part of the problem.
Today. Today is a new day and Sister K and I are fine. Back to normal. But it still leaves me thinking. Thinking about things I once took for granted. The ability to just have a fight with my sister without it making me unable to “function.” I am still thinking about the effect it had on me and therefore my surroundings. It’s going to take some serious thinking to work on this. Taking a step back when it’s happening. That is going to be easier said than done, as most things are.
Do you have siblings? Do you ever fight with them? How do you stay on task with family responsibility when struggling with personal feelings of frustration in your own life? When was the last time you moved? Does anyone else hate moving as much as me?