Everything Will Be Okay

I had trouble sleeping last night. I was lying in bed and commanding myself to go to sleep. Go to sleep. Go to sleep. Instead my mind swirled with worry. Swirled with uneasiness about the future. Swirled with imagined “what if” scenarios. None of the “what ifs” were ever good…all bad. All stressful. I felt a lot of anxiety. Then I did fall asleep and would wake up and something would trigger another anxious thought again. I still don’t know why last night caused this or what the root of the issue was…Was it just an isolated sleepless night of worrying or did it mean more than that?

But in the midst of it all I was trying to just lay there and calm myself into a relaxed state instead of the wide awake and stressful state my body felt like. I laid on my back, I put my hands on my stomach and pretended one of my hands was someone else as they held each other, and I envisioned Mom. I envisioned her saying “everything will be okay; everything will be okay.” As I did this, I seemed to move into a more relaxed state. Eventually my mind stopped racing and I drifted off to sleep.
It was a frustrating night to say the least…especially being a Sunday night. I am a little tired today but not as tired as I should be based on the low amounts of sleep I got last night. But the thing I found most interesting in all of it was that at 28, the thought of Mom, my Mom, being there with me calmed me down…in the same way it would have if I was a little kid. And in those moments when I was thinking of Mom, I wasn’t thinking of Mom who has MS, I was just thinking of Mom. This was something MS couldn’t impact because it can’t. It can’t impact the feeling I get from the comfort of feeling or envisioning the presence of my Mom.

Do you ever have trouble sleeping because your mind won’t stop racing? Does it ever happen to you more on a Sunday night with a looming new week ahead? What calms you down or relaxes you? How was your weekend?

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2 thoughts on “Everything Will Be Okay

  1. Hi There, Hope the week got better. I use Mindfulness Meditation and it really helps in all situations of anxiousness. In a nutshell, breath deep and slow;focus your thoughts on your breathing. Your thoughts will begin to calm down as you do this. They will not stop wandering but as they do, you will gently remind yourself to bring them back to your deep breathing.
    Google Jon Kabit Zen for more info and I wish you peaceful sleep.
    Estizer
    http://www.msopenmic.wordpress.com

    • Thank you for this recommendation. I have always wondered if meditation would really help with stress…of course I have heard that it does but never had anyone recommend it. I will check this out.

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