It’s a funny thing about life. No matter how old you get, sometimes life just kicks you down and you just want your Mom. I was having one of those moments yesterday. I was wallowing in my head for a lot of reasons. I tried hard all weekend to shake this feeling but it just kept getting worse.
I actually thought about calling Mom at one point late Saturday but stopped myself thinking, no, that’s just going to frustrate me even more….Mom won’t totally understand….I’ll have to explain everything even more….because she isn’t going to understand and I’ll have to explain everything even more…and then I’ll get more frustrated…and be more upset than when I started….so I didn’t call.
Then I got to Sunday and I was going over everything in my head and just decided in basic words- screw it, I’m gonna call Mom. Maybe it will be a disaster but maybe I’ll be surprised. Well I was not only surprised, I felt quite a bit better after the phone call. There were some tears, there was Mom’s understanding voice and the bottom line is that there is something about sharing your feelings, your true honest feelings with your Mom- no one understands quite like your Mom.
I don’t do it often and I have learned to problem solve and mentally triage issues more on my own given where Mom is at and where I am at- plus to be honest, some of the issues I face involve the changing dynamic of Mom in my life because of her MS.
But I realized something, Mom may not be able to walk, stand or hold herself up, she may not be able to do the things with me that she once could but no matter what MS does to her, sometimes I just need my Mom.
Have you ever had a dilemma you can’t solve immediately except with time? Have you ever had the same thoughts swirling around but can’t seem to shake them? Have you ever just quite frankly needed your Mom?