Sister K and I were talking at lunch today. We don’t know what our role needs to be going forward to help out with Mom’s MS. We also don’t know what is in Mom’s head regarding her MS. We wonder if Mom is doing everything she can? We wonder if our approach is correct? We wonder what phase Mom is at with this disease? Has she experienced acceptance of it or something else? We are confused and unsure. We don’t understand. We also just feel like we are at a loss for what we are supposed to do. At the same time, how much can we do? The help and support Mom needs is on a daily basis. It is not in our power to move back in at home and be there everyday to help out. I also don’t think physically we can provide the assistance she needs.
Once again we are beating our head against a wall about this. And it’s frustrating. It’s almost like we need a plan. But what’s the plan? A schedule of weekends we will go home and do what we can- clean, run errands, grocery shop, whatever we can do to help out. Is that the most we can do? What else can we do? And then the questions begin again.
Today I am confused. I am overwhelmed and confused. I need guidance. Mom is stubborn. We all have qualities in us that would make dealing with issues difficult and this is hers. It’s easy for people to say “tell your Mom to do this, tell her to do that” but they don’t know her. Sister K does and that is why she is my main support in all of this. We can support each other but together we can’t figure out how we are supposed to support Mom. Once again I feel like I am 20 years too early for these discussions. I feel like we don’t know enough or have the resources available to us for these decisions. It’s hard. It’s a big, overwhelming picture. It’s a lot of things at once.
The only thing I can wrap my head around right now is we need a plan. A realistic plan given our limitations in life right now. Even if all we can think of right now is to start small with a plan of weekends we will go home and run errands. We have to start somewhere. I don’t know where else to begin. This is ironic because I love to plan. I am a self-proclaimed planner. But this kind of planning causes something inside of me to mentally shut down. I am going to have to learn to fight that in order to be the person I need to be to fight Mom’s MS.
When it comes to MS, how do you share responsibility? Do you have any other ideas of what we should add to our plan?