I have had an outpouring of support on my blog today that I have not seen before. I am so thankful. I owe a lot of that to my regular readers out there. I also owe a lot of that to Patrick at Caregivingly Yours for the wonderful post he wrote about my blog today. A blog that has become more than a blog to me. A blog that has become a safe place to share my feelings, express the tough moments and remember the importance of the fun times.
When Mom was diagnosed with MS I headed straight to google. I am from the Millenial Generation meaning all of my problems and questions are supposed to be solved via google. But for the first time I couldn’t find what I wanted. I would google my mom has ms, help my mom has ms, what do I do my mom has MS, how do I cope with my mom’s MS and I could never find what I wanted. What did I want? I wanted to find someone I could relate to. I wanted to find someone who was similar to me. Someone who was close to their family, someone who understood the impacts of this disease on a family but also someone who was dealing with it. I wanted to know how they got through it? What did they do? Had they ever felt the way I did? In a sense I wanted a manual. Because like the phrase at the top of my blog says, “life didn’t give me a manual when it gave my Mom MS.” I would find resources for people with MS, people who had spouses with MS but nothing from children whose parents had MS. I was frustrated. If I did find something it was an angry message board post about how much they hated this disease and the awful impact it had on their family. I could relate to those feelings but there was nothing else. No sign of hope. No message of here’s how my family is dealing with it. It made me feel even more alone than I already did.
I didn’t want to feel alone anymore. I thought surely there has to be other people out there like me. People who are close to their family and just want someone else who can relate to what they are going through. The challenges and the tough moments but without forgetting about the laughs and the fun moments. My hope when I started this blog was to find a way to positively express my feelings. To show the tough moments but to also show the fun moments. To talk about how I was feeling or how things were going honestly and openly. Deep down I thought that maybe along the way I would meet someone who could relate or understand. I hoped that my blog would find its way to other people who may feel like I do. I think it may be doing that. I am so thankful. I sit here today feeling less alone with a big heart and a big thank you.
Thank you for reading and for coming back here to read again. Thank you for believing in my words enough to read past a first paragraph. Most importantly thank you for helping me to know I am not alone. Sister K and I are not alone and there are lot of other people going through the same feelings and emotions. I wish there was a bigger word to use but there isn’t. So I’ll say it again today: Thank you.
Thanks for such a wonderful blog! I have always wondered what my children would say about their dad’s MS if they had a platform like this. It never hits home so much as when he has to miss a milestone in their lives because of it. This happened the other day on our son’s wedding. I couldn’t help crying every time I thought about it. I was there, but his dad wasn’t. Our son sent him a beautiful text that helped his dad realize that even though he wasn’t there in body, he was there in thought.
Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts as a daughter of a Mom who has MS. I appreciate your honesty and your unique perspective. I’ll be sharing your blog on our site, Life in Spite of MS, for other children, caregivers, and MSers to find.
Hi Akrista, Thank you so much for sharing the struggles your family faces in spite of MS. I can relate to your son so much. My mother has had to miss things in my life and it is hard. As we were planning my wedding it was especially a struggle for me because nothing was as I had envisioned it would be. Everything was a little more difficult and sometimes Mom was too tired to attend things. My heart goes out to your son since his Dad was unable to be there because of his MS. I am glad your family found a way for them to share a special moment that they will both always cherish. I am looking forward to reading your blog. It sounds like the path your husband’s MS has taken has made it a big portion of your life which I can relate to. I love the name, Life in Spite of MS because that is how I could describe my own life right now. We are continuing, it’s going on in spite of MS. Thank you for reading and for your support!