A rollercoaster weekend. I am beginning to think I might slightly live a rollercoaster life. My weekend at home was filled with the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. Friday was lovely. Saturday night was tough. Sunday was a day of recovery. In that sense it was like a rollercoaster. Started out climbing the big dip, then fell down the big dip and then recovered on an easier curve.
Friday Sister K set out on a mission to have a wonderful and fun day with Mom. A day in which MS is there but not the center of attention. A day in which we focus on our relationship with Mom and what it has always been instead of focusing on the stress it is under at times. We wanted to have lunch and go shopping. Thinking through this there may have been a time where we would have gone one place for lunch and another for shopping. We realized the less we had to get Mom in and out of the car the easier everything would be on her and the more relaxed she would be. So we decided to have a delicious lunch at the Neiman Marcus cafe. Sister K and I ordered mimosas to celebrate the occasion. We settled in and all referred to ourselves as “ladies who lunch.” There was fun conversation but most importantly we were having a memorable day- just Mom out with her girls. Like she has done so many times before and like we fight so hard to continue to do. After salads and dessert we headed to shop- Forever 21 and Loft.
Forever 21 made me laugh. Sister K loves Forever 21. I do find good deals there on clothes but I can’t stay in there very long- the store stresses me out. But after selecting some tops/jackets to try on Sister K and I found a corner in the store that wasn’t crowded, parked Mom in her wheelchair and proceeded to try the clothes on over our own clothes. I laughed. Part of me felt embarassed. The other part of me didn’t care. That part of me said until someone comes over here and tells us otherwise we are going to continue layering on 3 layers of clothes and not going into a dressing room. With Mom’s MS we live by our own rules now and the rules we live by are all centered around what is easiest for us as far as Mom is concerned. It’s time I really begin to focus on that and not my embarrassment I am prone to at times.
Then we headed to Loft. It was almost like night and day. We wandered around the store collecting clothes to try on. We had them strung on Mom as she sat in her wheelchair since we needed our hands free to push. It was another sight to see. Loft was so accomodating and gave us a huge handicap accessible dressing room. Sister K, Mom and Me in a dressing room has always been a hilarious time and this proved to be no different.
It was a day of lunching and shopping. A day of doing our favorite activities we have always done but modifying them to fit our current situation and needs. I realized things are not going to be the same they were. Activities take more planning and more thought. They require more coordination in the moment. It wasn’t as stressful of a day as I think I had envisioned. I think the fact that Sister K and I were there together helped a lot. We tend to be a calming force for each other lately. But the main take away that I continue to need to be reminded of again and again: Mom is still Mom. Our mother/daughter relationship is still there. And because I know how these moments don’t come around everyday I know to cherish the memory of our “ladies who lunch” shopping day more than I might have before. In my mind it was a perfect day with Mom. A day which the puzzle pieces fit together perfectly. A day that in my heart I didn’t want to end.
Have you ever shared a perfect day with someone you didn’t want to end? Do you cherish memories of these days or tend to take for granted they will happen again? Ever felt a rollercoaster of emotions in a small 3 day time period? More on that later this week.
This sounds like you guys really had a great day! You made the best out of what you anticipated could’ve been a very difficult day. This took a lot of courage! This is really all you can do when some things are out of your control ; make the most of each day. I am sure your mom was thrilled to spend the day like this with her girls. Sounds like a special day. I am very happy for all of you 🙂
I like how you said that- make the most of each day. That is what is most important. It does take courage and at times I am fighting the inner battle to take the easy way out in moments like these. But when we are all able to get through them and have fun lasting memories it makes the nervous feelings I have worth it in the end…it also helps me in the future to relax more and realize things will work themselves out. 🙂
Sounds like the three of you had such a wonderful day. And you will all get to enjoy more. You are all so lucky and happy to have each other and just “go with the flow” and do not concentrate on the difficulties, but on the joys you all had together. Thanks for sharing!!
You are exactly correct and I need to focus on “go with the flow” more often. I feel like it goes against what my natural inclination is to do in most situations but Mom’s MS is making it more of a necessity in my daily life. Focusing on the good times we have when I am able to channel my inner “go with the flow” reminds me of how important it is even more. Thank you for commenting here and for reading!