Thankful for Feeling Sad

I stayed up very late last night making cake balls to take to Husband’s family’s Thanksgiving. So I am tired today and my head is not working properly. I can make the cake balls portion but it is the bark melted covering on the outside where I have issues making them look presentable and not a disaster.

Then Sister K called since she is home and we all used “Face Time” on the iPhone to late night chat. So one thing led to another and it was midnight before I went to sleep.

Being married is tough for me around the holidays because we have to split time between my family and Husband’s family. So far we have just been alternating Thanksgiving with his family, Christmas with mine, then switch the next year and so on….so this year it’s Thanksgiving with his family and Christmas with mine. But it doesn’t change this tiny feeling inside of me as I head off to celebrate a holiday without my family- I miss them. To put it even more simply- I miss my Mom. Mom has always had a way of making the holidays special. They have always been low-key occasions but special at the same time. A very come one, come all..you are not a guest in our home, you are automatic family. It’s hard to imagine everyone eating Thanksgiving without me. Sitting around our kitchen table in that green ivy filled kitchen. Getting recipes together, making drinks, snacking on appetizers, all of it.

I know these are simple memories. Our holidays have changed some in part because of Mom’s MS. We don’t make all of the food anymore but order some of it from a local restaurant. We have done this to make things easier…to make things less stressful on Mom and that is fine by us. We are easy to please. But the point though is even in its imperfect state, the holidays at home with my family are perfect to me. And today I have a tiny twinge of sadness that I am trying to mask with a smile on my face. But I am thankful for that sadness. Thankful I love my family enough to miss them at the holidays and thankful for the blessing of them this Thanksgiving.

What are your plans for Thanksgiving? How do you divide your time between families? Do you do all your own cooking or buy anything pre-made? So thankful for my readers! Wishing you a wonderful Thanksgiving!

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