I feel overwhelmed. I feel frustrated. I feel upset. I feel mad. I feel hurt. I feel so many things that my initial reaction to them is to ignore them. I like to think I am pretty good at dealing with problems head on but this one won’t go away. There is also no end in sight. It’s a problem that I can’t discuss with many people nor do I want to discuss it with many people. My mom has MS and it sucks. It absolutely sucks. I can’t get a handle on it. I can’t. I am admitting it. I don’t even know where to begin to get a handle on it because it is constantly changing. There are new symptoms, new emotions, new issues to tackle, constantly new. They also aren’t my symptoms. They also aren’t symptoms I totally understand. They are new terms and phrases. MS also brings decisions that aren’t mine to make. They are Mom’s to make. I have no control over a situation that is infiltrating every ounce of my life. My lack of knowing what to do is driving me crazy. I literally sit as my head fills with thoughts and have no idea what to do. I just want to curl back into my shell and do nothing. I just want this to go away. I just want to scream.