Disconnected

It is a dark afternoon. My cell phone has died. Not in the sense that it has a dead battery but I believe it has actually died. I am sitting here just staring at its dark screen, its lifeless face and just cannot believe it. So sudden. I didn’t even see it coming. It just started acting crazy, I restarted it several times and then it just shut itself off for good.

But in a way with my phone powered down, I feel a bit powered down. I feel a bit disconnected from the world. This makes me a little uneasy but also a little lonely. I know it’s sad and it makes me realize how much I rely on this contraption to connect me with the world. How much I have grown to depend on it. It’s lack of presence this afternoon is forcing me to sit quietly with my thoughts. No texting Husband or Sister K, no seeing the blinking red light to alert me to an email. Nothing.

But this feeling of being disconnected is also healthy. I think I do need to be disconnected every once in awhile. Not just from my phone but from the outside world. I need to figure out the kind of adult I want to be, how I want to process emotions and think how I want to handle things without relying on the advice and opinions of others. I need to spend time with me.

I think it is important to remember to take care of yourself, your own thoughts, your own emotions and to check in with them as you care for a loved one. It can very easily become all about them without remembering to be about you too. I will be a better daughter to Mom if I can take a step back from Mom’s MS, disconnect from the world and reconnect with me every once in awhile. Thanks to the death of my phone I am having that opportunity this afternoon.

Do you feel attached to your cell phone? Do you believe in taking time to disconnect and reconnect to improve yourself? Has your phone ever just died? Wish me luck as I head to the Sprint store after work.

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