Unsuccessful Thoughts

Can MS change a person? I am really questioning this because I am wondering about my own Mom. I am seeing changes in her personality that to put it simply, I don’t understand. I feel like an imposter is slowly taking over as Mom. I can’t explain it really, it is difficult and convoluted and again to put it simply, a mess. But I am struggling. I am struggling because this is Mom- my mom. The woman who I have always had on a pedestal. Who is supposed to be invincible, who is supposed to always say the right thing, who is supposed to listen, who is supposed to be there. All of a sudden things are changing. I don’t know why and I don’t know what is causing them to change. Is it just the simple pain of growing up, I don’t think so. Am I asking for too much, again I don’t think so. But something is strained. I feel stressed about what that something is- I am trying to put my finger on it and struggling to do so. Maybe if I can figure it out I can figure out how to deal with it. Maybe there is no way to handle this. Maybe it’s just life. Maybe I am searching for an answer that doesn’t exist.  

But I continue to wonder, can MS change a person? What do you think? How do you handle changes in people?

Advertisements

10 thoughts on “Unsuccessful Thoughts

  1. I’ve had MS for 13 years and have been following you for a while and it is so wonderful to see how much you and your sister are so involved in helping your mom. I just want to encourage you to continue blogging…you are doing a great job. I know it’s hard and the changes are happening faster than you can keep up with. That’s MS. You will get through this…

    • Hi Connie, Thank you so much for this comment. I even reread it several times because I feel like it is exactly what I needed to hear right now. I can’t tell you how much it meant to me. Thank you for reading my blog and continuing to come back to read- your support means so much. Take care!

  2. The surprise would be if, on some level, MS did not change her. Sometimes it is a positive change as one hopefully gains wisdom through dealing with the adversity. Sometimes it is not so pretty. MS affects Everything–physical, emotional, and spiritual. As for how to deal with someone else’s change, that depends on the circumstances. Always, though, what I try to do is to focus on getting my own emotions and spirit together through self work, instead of trying to change the other person.

    • Hi Judy, Wow- your first sentence of this alone just spoke volumes to me. You are right though, it is going to affect everyone, sometimes it is positive and sometimes it is not so pretty. I like what you said though, focus on getting myself together instead of trying to change others. I need to remember that moving forward. Thanks for your comment!

  3. I have been changed by MS, but if you think about how can it not change your personality when you were once able to do things that suddenly are stolen from you. As hard as it is for you to experience the changes in your Mom, imagine how difficult it is for her, experiencing changes in her body, having others do things that she used to do herself. It is a shock to a person to go through these changes. There will be better days. I am 11 years in and somedays I accept the changes and seem to come back to my old self and other days I am hurting emotionally because of the things I have lost. The main thing to remember is she is still your Mom and you are all doing a great job at supporting her. The changes affect everyone in the family.

    • Hi there, You are exactly right with what you said. When you think about it, how can it not change you? What you wrote sounds exactly like the thoughts my Mom has shared with us. I need to focus more on Mom still being my Mom at the heart of it all. Thank you for stopping by!

  4. It’s hard to say whether MS has changed me or I’ve just done some growing up. Or maybe MS forced me to grow up sooner than the rest of my friends? I was diagnosed at 23 (I’m 29 now), since then I’ve married, I’ve divorced, I’ve left a career, I’ve moved across country and back, I’ve relapsed several times, I’ve lost friends and gained new ones and I’m different. Maybe I’m a product of my circumstances and environment but I think a lot of my changing has to do with my mental state. It has such a profound impact on the way you feel about yourself and the place you have in this world. I’d be in a huge state of denial if part of me didn’t miss parts of my past, you know, the parts where I was healthy and out living life. But I have to say, despite how much I’ve changed, I like the person I’ve become. Because of MS, I’m stronger, I listen to my body, I listen to those around me and I don’t take things for granted.
    But as others have stated, we all react so differently to this disease. Some of us take longer to get to a point. We’re all caterpillars and MS is our cocoon, we just have to decide when it is the right time to escape from the confines of this disease and emerge as unique, beautiful, butterflies.

    • Hi There, I love your comparison to being caterpillars and MS is your cocoon. I am in a struggle with my Mom and hoping she can emerge as you have to realize she is a stronger person for everything she is going through. I realize it takes time and patience and it is ultimately her decision how she handles it, but thank you for reiterating that above all, having this disease does change you on some level and I need to remember that. Not changes in terms of mental state as you said but changes in how you perceive and take on the world. Thank you for your comment and for reading my blog!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s