A Monday Smile

We got Mom an iPhone for Christmas and it has been a hilarious undertaking trying to explain how to use it…especially via long distance. She’s got the phone and texting parts down but when it comes to fancier things, Sister K and I must take a “patience pill” before we start explaining.

The best thing about Mom getting an iPhone has been the addition of group text messages into our life. Sister K and I have had to learn to slow down our thoughts because Mom can’t keep up…slow down. Seems to be a growing theme with all things MS related. Another post for another day.

Last night, somehow, Mom managed to take a “selfie video” (as she called it) of herself watching the Oscars and of the decorations in her room at her rehab place courtesy of Sister K. It was a silly video but you could tell she was really trying to capture everything in and was so proud of it. She also said if we share the video we are dead…so unfortunately I won’t be sharing.

Sister K was the one who guided her through how to send it to us via text. Sister K seems to be better at explaining these technology things to Mom. I think I get overwhelmed and don’t even know where to begin with teaching her how to do it…it is probably because Sister K is a teacher and naturally thinks in teaching ways. I think big picture, I am overwhelmed and Sister K just dives in…although there are times when we flip roles and it is the reverse of this between us.

Regardless, it was a cute video and it was sweet to see Mom being so proud of what may seem like a little accomplishment to many. It is also another example of the power of technology in keeping people connected…I think people forget that many of these connections could be happening in hospital rooms/rehab rooms with people away from family all over the country. The video also made me smile when I watched it last night…and it just made me sit back and smile as I just watched it again…not for the content but for a Monday smile.

I hope something crosses your path today no matter how simple or silly it may seem that makes you smile too.

 

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How Well Do You Know Yourself?

I don’t like change. This isn’t really some new revelation to me and it is also not a secret confession. I don’t like change. I get a lot of it thrown at me it seems and I really don’t like it. It is such a normal statement for me to make that I even made it while chatting with my boss at lunch today while we were talking about our lives. I don’t even remember specifically what we were saying but I said, “Yeah well it makes sense because I don’t like change.”

She laughed and said well that’s funny because you are in PR. And we moved on to talking about other things. But the comment hasn’t left me all day because it’s true- I work in public relations- a career that no two days are alike, I never know what will be thrown at me when I walk into my office in the morning or even the second half of the day. The media could call, I could need to pitch a story, a crisis could occur…there is a constant unknown and that means a constant ability to change.

Yet I don’t like change.

It never and I do mean never occurred to me that the career path I have chosen for myself is in direct conflict with who I am deep down. Or is it who I am deep down? Do I really dislike change as much as I think I do? Do I really struggle with it as much as I think I do? Because I do really well at work. I do really well with the thrill of all of suddenly being thrown the impossible and making it possible. It’s a stressful period while I am making it happen but once I do, it is a complete rush.

It’s just got me thinking. They say opposites attract when it comes to significant others, but do you think opposites ever attract when it comes to a career? Is my work persona who I really want to be in my personal life…or is it who I already am, I just need to realize it?

Lots of questions here today but definitely no answers. I do think the thought and connection has entered my head for a reason…now I just need to figure out that reason.

Have you ever worked in a job or volunteer position that requires skills that are opposite of your personality? Do you think we are ever drawn to tasks that are opposite of what we think we would really prefer? Do you ever think we believe our personality traits are one way, yet really they are another? 

Leaping Over Puddles

Halloween is pretty uneventful for me because Husband and I live in an apartment and we don’t get any trick-or-treaters in an apartment complex. So minus taking pictures of people dressed up in costume at work today (since I am in charge of our company’s social media and internal communications) and my cupcake adventure last night, it’s just been a normal day. But a very rainy day. It poured here all last night and all day until around 4pm. Then it all just went away, it had cooled off a little and the sun came out.

I decided to go for a run at the park even though I knew the trail would be soggy. Something about it just felt nice on this holiday evening. As I was running I was doing some thinking and also a lot of leaping over puddles. I had to really pay attention to the path because all of a sudden you’d be zig zagging to avoid huge puddles or piles of mud. Occasionally though you had no way around the puddle- so I leaped over it.

After I did this a few times I started thinking about those puddles. About how life is full of them. Smooth ground for awhile and then a big mess you have to get through and then smooth for awhile and then a mess to trudge through..and if you are not paying attention the big messy puddle sneaks up on you and before you know it you are right in it. I think I have a tendency to get in a puddle and then stay there. Focus on the puddle. I have a hard time letting go of the puddle. It’s a small feeling of negativity/glass half empty I am noticing that is always there in the back of my mind. But when I was running tonight I got such a rush after I’d leap over a puddle successfully. I started thinking wouldn’t it be great if I could just leap over the negativity and keep things positive. Leap over the messy puddles in my life. Not avoid the puddle, not jump into the puddle, but simply acknowledge it, figure out a plan and leap over it.

How do you handle negative thoughts? Do you think sometimes we can just dwell on things too much and really we just need to leap over them to move forward? Did you or your family dress up today? Happy Halloween!

My MS Recess

I have been giving this blog a lot of thought recently. A lot of thought because while I am struggling with Mom’s MS, I am also trying to retain a positive outlook on life. I am trying to cope with the struggles of this disease and the progression of it without allowing the negativity of that to overtake my thoughts.  I feel like in a lot of ways this blog has become a negative place for me recently because that is how I have felt. But at the same time, I need it to also be a positive place. A place I enjoy coming outside of my daily world to lose myself with myself- my experiences, my struggles, my funny moments.

I need it to be my MS Recess. 

I thought about starting a new separate blog but then I realized I needed to just live up to the name I gave this one when I started it..almost like I was foreshadowing how I was going to deal with Mom’s MS..I just didn’t know it. Since recess is often considered a break in the day, this blog needs to be my break in the day. The break where I can vent my frustrations or share some laughs. A place that can be serious or silly. A place where I share more of who I am both as I deal with Mom’s MS but also share more just as I just live my life. Because it is all intertwined whether I like it or not…both portions are part of who I am. How I manage the background feelings that are always there about Mom’s MS while also managing my own life as a 29 year old outside of Mom’s MS.

To try to overcome the negative, I have decided to mix in some “me posts.” Show who I am, show my life but not sugarcoat the moments of struggle. Because I am struggling. A lot. I also recognize I need to find a way to fight it and I think this may be a good trial- to see if this is a good place and a good way to do it.

So on this Sunday evening- here is a glimpse into what is making me smile:

photo-4

This afternoon at the grocery store, I left Husband standing in line as I boldly proclaimed-I need to buy myself some candy corn in honor of the Halloween season. I happen to have quite an affinity for candy corn and every week as I have done my grocery shopping for the past month I have made up an excuse about “why I don’t need it.” Today I finally gave in and bought it- and not only the taste but the nostalgia of it has made me smile all evening long!

Any thoughts on my new approach to this blog? Is there a particular seasonal treat that makes you smile? Candy corn seems to be so polarizing- people either love it or hate it. Which camp do you fall into? Husband is not a fan.