To Juice or Not to Juice

My family is not a big Whole Foods shopping family. We have never been big on organic foods, ingredients in foods, etc. There is nothing wrong with it, but it hasn’t been our frame of mind…until recently. Last week Mom and Dad’s therapist suggested to them that they try juicing to help with relieving some of the pain and symptoms of Mom’s MS. Dad is really interested in this because he is also willing to try anything to help Mom. Mom not so much.

I have taken a step back from the disagreement because I am not sure which end of the spectrum I fall on. I understand the want and the need to try whatever you can, but I also understand it’s Mom’s body and she is the one who has to do it. We can’t command her to do things and take over in a way that says her opinion doesn’t matter. But at the same time, she has yet to be very realistic about her treatment or where she is regarding her MS forcing us to take over in certain situations.

But more important than the debate involved in getting Mom to try it, I am first wondering if the suggestion to try juicing has some weight or not? There are a few things I read online but then I thought I really need to come here and see what you think. I honestly trust all of you who I have met through this blog more than any research out there. Real people with real stories that I can relate to is what I have found here.

So given the topic of juicing, what do you know? Have you tried it? Have you noticed any improvements in your health? Are there any juice recipes that aren’t bad tasting that you recommend to potentially ease Mom into this? What kind of juicer do you have?

Finding Daily Joy: Thanks to Steve Harvey

Mom isn’t driving anymore because of her MS and consequently spends most of her weekdays at home. I think I have a tendency to overlook how limiting that would be or how much it could mess with your attitude or outlook on life. I also haven’t given much thought to how it may be a struggle for Mom to find happiness or joy in her daily life.

While I was home for a week over Christmas, I got to take part in one of Mom’s days at home and discovered she finds the joy in her daily life and she finds it in unexpected places. Sister K, Mom and I were sitting around the kitchen table working on Christmas cards when Mom started to get excited because it was time for the Steve Harvey Show. Seeing Mom excited made me excited and I thought I would humor her and watch. But something funny happened. I discovered something I didn’t expect- the Steve Harvey Show is really funny. I ended up loving it! The show is so much more than just a standard afternoon talk show. Steve Harvey is the host of a show geared towards issues and topics women face both good and bad…but no matter what the topic or advice is, he never makes them feel bad about themselves. More importantly though he offers advice in a comical yet very real way that gets to the heart of the issue. Then along the way he has these crazy moments (see below) where he is exercising on elevated shoes that are like walking on rubber hands..and as I sat there and watched this with Mom, we were laughing hysterically. Hysterically.

Steve Harvey 12.27.12

Steve Harvey 12.27.12

After the show was over, it made me thankful for silly moments like this and silly moments on a TV show like Steve Harvey. It honestly made me thankful for Steve Harvey. Thanks to him I know Mom finds a little bit of laughter everyday mixed in with a little bit of reality. His show lets her escape for an hour everyday from the pain and frustration of her MS and puts a smile on her face. At the end of the day, you have to laugh at life, and I have to laugh at the fact that Mom and I spent one Christmas afternoon bonding over Steve Harvey and his rubber band shoes. No talk of MS for miles. Just laughter. I learned a good lesson from Mom that you can really find joy anywhere if you look hard enough no matter what cards you have been dealt. She just happened to find it from Steve Harvey.

How do you find the joy in your daily life? Do you watch any TV shows that bring humor to your life? Have you ever thought about good or bad, how much TV can impact your world and your mood? Have you ever watched the Steve Harvey Show?

A Broken Record

I know I am about to sound like a broken record. To be honest I feel like a broken record. I feel like this is the same thing I have blogged about a hundred times. The same issue my family has been dealing with and we continue to be dealing with..we aren’t going anywhere with it and pretty much staying in the same spot. You are probably just as frustrated hearing about it as I am talking about it. But I have to talk about it. I have to because that is what this blog is for me- it’s where I talk about Mom’s MS, the issues that result from it and sometimes it is the exact same issue but a new day.

Mom isn’t dealing with her MS.

Sister K called me this afternoon to tell me Dad was frustrated once more with Mom and her lack of initiative regarding her MS. Their new therapist suggested Mom look into juice drinks that you would make in the blender to help with her spasms. Dad thinks that turned Mom off and she told Dad she didn’t think their therapist needed to come every week. Dad listened and rescheduled for 2 weeks from now. The problem with this is Dad listened and is giving Mom what she wants.Dad had a frustrating night with Mom needing him periodically. We have talked to Dad about getting some outside help. Dad didn’t listen and hasn’t acted on this issue.

Dad then vented to Sister K about all of this. Dad did the same thing with me a few weeks ago. Sister K and I are a bit dumbfounded by the entire thing thinking we don’t know what else to say or do. We realize we are in a tricky spot. Dad doesn’t have much family to talk share this with so we are pretty much it. We don’t want to discourage him from talking to us but we are also at a loss for words or advice. We feel we have given all the advice or suggestions we can and he is the only one who can choose to act on them. It is also difficult because one week Dad is optimistic and a few weeks later he is the polar opposite. It puts Sister K and I on a bit of an emotional roller coaster, unsure of when it will stop.

Part of this may be that the relationship between Dad and Mom is husband and wife. It may be Dad admitting to himself what is happening just as much as Mom needs to admit what is happening to herself. I am not sure what needs to happen or what to even say. But I do know I am seeing the same themes consistently appearing lately. I realize this isn’t a more unique topic or unique situation. It is the same issue I have talked about many times before. But it is an issue that I need to talk about. So here I am. Trying to find a way to deal with this and realizing I still don’t have the answer or the power to do so.

Have you ever had an issue come up repeatedly in your own life that makes you feel like a broken record? Do you believe in the concept that when something gets bad enough people will change? Have you ever had a situation where a caretaker is having trouble but won’t seek the help they need? Do you even understand the phrase “broken record” because I am not sure I do?

Negative or Realistic?

Do you tend to think positively? Are you immediately optimistic when life throws you a curve ball? This is not my best trait I must admit. I tend to think a little more pessimistic than optimistic. It is something I would like to change and sometimes I am good at my efforts to change and sometimes I am not.

One area that I seem to struggle with positive thinking is where Mom is concerned. Dad and Mom are meeting with their therapist tonight. Dad called me today and left me a real uplifting message about how he had spoken with the therapist and he had some great ideas and he felt good about everything. His outlook was better than this time yesterday afternoon when he felt frustrated. I must admit I struggle with this. I don’t know if I am just being pessimistic, if Dad is being overly optimistic…or if one of us is being realistic and the other isn’t. But I have my doubts. I guess I just feel like not much is going to change where Mom is concerned because she doesn’t want things to change. And I feel I am admitting that to myself. But when I talk to Dad and hear him so optimistic about Mom improving I begin to feel like I am just being negative. Like I am not thinking positively. I feel wrong for thinking in this way but I don’t know how to change it…or the big question of if I really should change it.

Do you ever struggle to think positive about something after so many negative moments in the past? Do you think sometimes we can mistake negative thinking with realistic thinking? Do you think we should always strive to think positively?

The Cover-Up

I love gloves. I notoriously have cold hands and gloves provide the ultimate in warmth. I wish you could wear them year round but it is only really acceptable to wear them in winter. But I was thinking today how gloves provide me the ultimate cover up, enabling my hands to stay warm and function. It got me thinking about how we cover up things in our own lives.

Dad called me today because he and Mom are going to meet with a therapist again tomorrow night. It was advised to Mom and Dad after her last doctor’s visit that they needed to see someone. The main reason is Mom is not admitting to herself or dealing with her MS diagnosis. They met with someone in December and will meet with the person again tomorrow night. I had been asking Dad if they had another appointment scheduled but he thought that with the holidays things seemed to be improving. But now in the second week of January it seems as though we still have the same issues, just a new year.

Dad mentioned Mom’s MS doesn’t seem to be improving and her mobility seems to be getting slower. It is also becoming a little more difficult for him to assist her. These are little things but little things that are big things. He asked if I had noticed anything over Christmas and I said honestly, I think Sister K and I are just turning our head the other way. The holidays were not an appropriate time to bring up this argument again but in many ways I think Sister K and my days of bringing up this argument are gone. I think we have done everything we can and now it is up to Mom.

Someone gave me some good advice once: She said people speak verbally and non-verbally and their non-verbal actions typically mean more than their verbal actions. Mom’s non-verbal actions are very honest and when I stop to think about and look at them they tell a very honest story. The avoidance, the lack of initiative, the negative attitude at times, the contentment with where things are- they tell a lot. A lot that I can’t really write about because I am still working it out in my mind. It’s a cover-up. A cover-up that allows Mom to stay warm and cozy within the life she wants without getting out in the cold and beginning to deal with things. It’s a cover-up that I am not sure any of us have any tools left to uncover. I think Mom may be the only one who can do it.

Do you ever cover things up or not deal with issues in your life? Do you think at a certain point you just can’t push someone to deal with things anymore? What is your favorite thing to wear to keep warm during winter?

Everything Will Be Okay

I had trouble sleeping last night. I was lying in bed and commanding myself to go to sleep. Go to sleep. Go to sleep. Instead my mind swirled with worry. Swirled with uneasiness about the future. Swirled with imagined “what if” scenarios. None of the “what ifs” were ever good…all bad. All stressful. I felt a lot of anxiety. Then I did fall asleep and would wake up and something would trigger another anxious thought again. I still don’t know why last night caused this or what the root of the issue was…Was it just an isolated sleepless night of worrying or did it mean more than that?

But in the midst of it all I was trying to just lay there and calm myself into a relaxed state instead of the wide awake and stressful state my body felt like. I laid on my back, I put my hands on my stomach and pretended one of my hands was someone else as they held each other, and I envisioned Mom. I envisioned her saying “everything will be okay; everything will be okay.” As I did this, I seemed to move into a more relaxed state. Eventually my mind stopped racing and I drifted off to sleep.
It was a frustrating night to say the least…especially being a Sunday night. I am a little tired today but not as tired as I should be based on the low amounts of sleep I got last night. But the thing I found most interesting in all of it was that at 28, the thought of Mom, my Mom, being there with me calmed me down…in the same way it would have if I was a little kid. And in those moments when I was thinking of Mom, I wasn’t thinking of Mom who has MS, I was just thinking of Mom. This was something MS couldn’t impact because it can’t. It can’t impact the feeling I get from the comfort of feeling or envisioning the presence of my Mom.

Do you ever have trouble sleeping because your mind won’t stop racing? Does it ever happen to you more on a Sunday night with a looming new week ahead? What calms you down or relaxes you? How was your weekend?

The Cards We’ve Been Dealt

On December 23, Sister K, Mom and I all headed to the mall…Husband and Dad headed to the movies together. It was girl time/best friend time/mother-daughter time/all of the above. We were done with our holiday shopping but went to enjoy the sales, soak up the frenzy of the pre-Christmas chaos and spend time together.

As I was there I saw other families together, other mothers and daughters but for the first time I didn’t feel the instant twinge of jealousy I used to feel. Sure Sister K and I pushed our Mom around the mall instead of walking beside her…but instead of focusing on the differences between our Mom and other Moms…I just focused on being with Mom. We had a wonderful day. We wandered around, in and out of the stores, showing Mom things, trying clothes on, stopping to grab something to eat, and to insert a line from a familiar Christmas tune “laughing all the way.” It was a special time and the perfect way to leave the cares of my life behind and become focused on being home with my family for Christmas.

I felt very blessed by the relationship I have with Mom and Sister K. I felt blessed that I “wanted to go home to spend time with them” as I listened to people complain about being home with their parents for holidays. Instead of thinking of the frustrating cards we have been dealt with Mom’s MS I thought about the good cards I have been dealt with my family. I am learning to take all the cards I’ve been dealt, the good and the bad, and to make it work. And if it means taking turns pushing Mom around the mall in her wheelchair, sometimes having some minor issues with navigating through doors, and sometimes taking up too much space- I’ll do it. I’ll do it because as I sit here today I don’t remember those things, I just remember the time spent with Mom.

So a week after Christmas and with the holidays behind, here are some pictures of
Sister K and Mom “rolling” around the mall:

Enjoying the lights of the season

Enjoying the lights of the season

Avoiding the cobble stones to the left- we learned Mom isn't a fan

Avoiding the cobble stones to the left- we learned Mom isn’t a fan

We also learned Mom's wheelchair doubles as shopping bag storage

We also learned Mom’s wheelchair doubles as shopping bag storage

Did you do anything special with your family over the holiday season? Do you ever focus on the negative cards you’ve been dealt and overlook the positives in the process? Does anyone else enjoy going to the mall to enjoy the pre-Christmas chaos or are you among those still doing last minute holiday shopping up until Christmas Eve?